Thread:KylaraE/@comment-20644-20170831165250/@comment-23771723-20170921184749

Please make the following corrections and changes to Light's video:
 * 00:15 - "after having found" - please rephrase to "after finding"
 * 00:34 - “thereby forcing him” - change "forcing" to “baiting”
 * 00:42 - "he decides to join L's Task Force in order to keep tabs on him" - It was his intention, but the decision was up to others. Please rewrite, perhaps: "He offers to help L with the case in order to keep tabs on him.”
 * 00:42 again - "the second Kira Higuchi" - Higuchi is the third Kira (Misa is the second).
 * 01:04 - "Light uses L's database" - Not quite, he uses L’s access to police databases. Please rephrase. Alternatively: "Light continues working as both Kira and L"
 * 01:06 - "Light becomes involved with..." Can this frame be removed? "where he meets Near and Mello, L's successors" - this is a non sequitur, since Near and Mello have nothing to do with the police force and Light doesn't meet them through it. Light doesn't meet Near until the very end of the series. Without that part, Light being involved with the police force is redundant and unnecessary, so the frame isn't really saying anything.
 * 01:14 - "Near and Mello begin to suspect Light is Kira after the lack of progress he's had on the case." - Only Near suspects Light was Kira for this reason. Mello's suspicions aren't specific to Light.
 * 01:18 - "Light is confronted by Mikami, the SPK, and the Task Force at the Yellow Box warehouse where he tries to justify his actions as Kira." - Not quite. Light isn't confronted by Mikami, he plots to have Mikami arrive to try to kill the others. He doesn't go there to justify his actions either. Please rewrite this frame, perhaps: "Light and the Task Force meet Near and the SPK at the Yellow Box warehouse where Light has arranged for Mikami to come and kill everyone."
 * 01:24 - Following the requested change on the previous frame, please begin this frame with: "When that fails, he attempts..."
 * 01:32 & 01:35 -Light dies by Ryuk writing his name in both the manga and the anime. I have two suggestions:
 * Suggestion 1:
 * 01:32 - "In the manga, Light dies in the Yellow Box warehouse when Ryuk writes his name in the Death Note as he promised."
 * 01:35 - "In the anime, Light escapes to another warehouse before Ryuk writes his name in the Death Note. He dies seeing a vision of L."
 * Suggestion 2:
 * 01:32 - "Light dies when Ryuk writes his name in a Death Note as he promised."
 * Remove the 01:35 frame.

Thank you.